Just Bitchin: Legitimate Beef

There’s a growing sense of urgency in the Malaysia’s culinary underbelly and it’s quite possible we will soon face a shortage of good hawker food. This ugly revelation reared its head when my favourite char koay teow hawker admitted he feared his business would not continue because none of his children wanted to pick it up.

Apparently this isn’t an isolated case as all our favourite roadside bites might be in danger of fading away for good, due to most family-run hawker haunts having to contend with their young ones leaving the coop for the corporate world. It would seem that many a junior who’s spent a large portion of his youth helping dad fry delectable flat rice noodles would now prefer to spend his time in a tie behind a desk instead of slaving over a hot stove. The selfish bastard.

This, of course, creates a dilemma for the rest of us, and not to mention Malaysia’s standing as a culinary paradise. Sure we’ve been labeled a culinary melting pot, with a wide variety of cuisine readily available, but despite having numerous restaurants, food expos and gastronomy events, the true measure of Malaysia’s culinary shtick still lies with the humble hawker and not the latest five star fine-dining restaurant with the pony-tailed chef serving Wagyu beef.

Rumour has it that Wagyu beef apparently, in non-porn terms, is the most succulent piece of meat you’ll ever put in your mouth. A 220gm steak of Wagyu in some of our fine dining establishments will set you back some RM150, which is a far cry from paying RM3.50 for a plate of noodles. No wonder junior wants to work in a bank.

But believe it or not, there isn’t anything really that special about Wagyu beef as it’s just regular cow meat from an unusual breed of cattle. They're not genetically engineered or anything special, I think, but they're more along the lines of privileged Wagyu cows born and bred to obtain a high degree of marbling of fat, which makes this meat a culinary delicacy. Legend has it that these young calves are fattened using only the finest grains and omitted from hard labour in the fields. They're also fed beer, sake and massaged occasionally by a bunch of farmers and shown the utmost care right up until their heads get chopped off. Sounds utterly bovine, doesn’t it?

Restaurants and food connoisseurs the world over however have labeled the meat to be “the most tender, most succulent and tastiest meat in the world.” And in a brilliant marketing spin, the exporters of the meat have even gone on to label Wagyu as the “caviar of beef.” Funny but its hard to imagine a scene where James Bond spreads a 200gm steak on a cracker and washes it down with Dom Perignon after playing poker.

Nevertheless, the hype around the beef is red hot and everyone it seems literally wants a piece of it and by all means you should too except if you’re the type that only eats steak “well-done.” However you should throw caution in the wind and try not to develop a fondness for it as it may turn around and bite you in the ass. After all Wagyu nearly has the same street value as crack and it’s safe to assume that, with its price, you won’t see a Double Cheese McWagyu with a free plastic toy at your nearest fast food outlet anytime soon.

So take my advice, once in a while when the urge comes to try something “out of this world” like Wagyu beef, think of the little Ramly burger or beef noodle stall nearby. The meal is delectable in its own way and you would’ve done your bit to help keep the local hawker food industry alive by keeping junior in business and away from that horrid desk job, which he will probably detest like the rest of us. Even better, the amount saved on the meal will afford yourself a session of binge drinking of at your favourite watering hole and not to mention even a massage later. A gourmand’s wet dream or not, common sense must prevail. Why should cows have all the fun?

Richard Augustin is a former chef. He is now editor for AirAsia's inflight magazine.