Hellboy II: The Golden Army

If you’ve been following postings on KLue’s site lately, you would recall us talking about how Malaysian censors have gotten a little less uptight. More proof of that is the fact that Hellboy II: The Golden Army didn’t get renamed Super Sapiens II.

In this new caper featuring the spawn-of-Satan-gone-good (Hellboy, of course!), former ‘80s Bros member Luke Goss lets art imitate life by playing Elf Prince Nuada who comes out of obscurity seeking new fame by leading a new band called The Golden Army. This is a magical army of course, indestructible and completely capable of laying humanity to waste.

Naturally, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and the rest of the goodie gang get involved and, before you know it, you have the pack battling everything from creepy teeth-eating fairies, creatures with retractable chained fists and a giant plant creature who looks like he just walked off the set of The Lord Of The Rings.

In spite of the plentiful eye candy (and boy is there a lot), the movie ends up like a lot of the baddies after battling Hellboy; a freakin’ mess. There are a lot of elements director Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, The Orphanage, Blade 2) has to juggle here—from Lovecraft-ian creatures, metaphysics, 50s-style camp, comedy and melodramatic romance. But somewhere in the act of balancing all these elements, except for the amazing creature designs, the movie just falls apart.

The corny romance problems Hellboy and fire-powered girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair) had were annoying and there were too many dead scenes meant to develop character that only succeeded in delivering boredom.

Equally lacklustre were acting performances by all except Seth MacFarlane as the disembodied German agent, Johann Krauss. The cast were wooden and they certainly cannot blame excessive make up from hindering their acting.

MacFarlane delivered the best lines, delivered in a goofy German accent that constantly stole the show. He basically played a large puff of smoke, but manages to bring more life into that than any of the other actors did.

Hellboy II may be pretty to watch, but is grating in every other aspect. Just torrent this and save your money for The Dark Knight next week.

Directors Guillermo del Toro Cast Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Seth MacFarlane Runtime 110 minutes Opens 10 July

Here's the movie's trailer:

Also, Bros' "When Will I Be Famous?" video. Prince Nuada is the drummer.